Just a LUst
Tuesday, April 5, 2011


"Another shot of coffee can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing u come sweeping in the way u did before.
& I wonder if I ever cross ur mind.
As for me it happens all the time."
I change the whiskey to coffee, coz in outlet no whiskey lah. Lolz
That's how I am, in the outlet every day since he left.
I know he is too young. Not even up to my standard of a guy.
But something abt him just reminds me of Fidi.
Maybe, I miss Fidi too much.
His attitude of, controlling, loving... especially the demanding part exactll like Fidi. Playfull... Everything..
However, I know he is just taking advantage of me.
SEx material... That's how I put it..
I'm ok with him having a real gf but,,, I begin to be selfish.
As I wanted him to always be here with me. Which is so impossible.
Someone told me this, "I'm impress coz, u have a very strong heart. Eventhough it kills u when Fidi is happy with his new gf. Yet u still stay happy & smiley"
In my heart... Actually, I'm crying. If I'm happy & I'm strong, I would have a new bf or even married by now. But this heart, refused to open its door to other guys that knocks.If people around me knows, the truth in my heart, would they still say I'm "strong at heaer".
Its easy to say, move on.. Its hard to really move on & did not grieve over the past.
As Fidi is the 1st guy whom I fall in Love with, I believe his name will last all my life in this heart.
To Fidi:
"
Awak, loving u is something that no one could change. It will last in this heart forever. Even till now, I'm still waiting for the day that u will walk back in my arms again. Even its impossible right now, but I still believe that day will come by. Yes, I'm successful now even w/o u around. But ur memories keep me strong as days goes by. I love u much. But I know, u ar happier with her. Take care of her just like u did to me. Lastly,,, I will still love u from this distance."
To Baby boy:
"
Thanks for the comfort. Thanks u so much for the TLC. I love the way u bring me close to Fidi's memories. Thank u so much. Please stop being playboy ok. Eventhough u denied it. But u are... =)"
jUst sMile :)12:47 PM