Its Jz Me..
Monday, November 30, 2009
I'm not strong enough to go through all dis anymore.....
jUst sMile :)7:54 PM
I'm Not Stupid!!
Sunday, November 29, 2009

Its a very long day yest...
Went to woodland with Mak Long, Mak Teh & Mak Busu..& not forgeting my beloved sister..
that's for cukur rambut... On the behalf of daddy... Hahaha Daddy is working yest.. So... gtg with my 3 aunties..
After dat we went to Cik Acer hs for our reg family meetings..
Pak Ngah decided to hand over the major Family meeting which is suppose to be held on June 2012 to us the new generations.. But then... he wans certain people to be incharge.. where else I came out with the idea & comments & I attend the meetings..
Its so "merepek" ar... Coz they wanted the person in charge to be som1 whom nv attend the meeting 4 th past donkey yrs seh... jz bcoz to respect her as young aunty??? Excuse me... Y not u guys jz be honest with me dat I'm uneducated???
Cumon lah I'm not stupid eventhough I'm not University graduate.. I've been organising CC activities for 4 yrs seh... & Its successfull lah.. Not like them organise family gathering pun tak successfull..
Huh... watever lah seh.. U wan a change but U are using the same boring people to be in ur committe??? People who can't even attend the meeting??? which is held once every 2mths jz b'coz theey have their own life??? Wat abt me seh???
haiz... talk to dad abt this last nite lah sehh... automatically dad says... coz i'm not educated??
Elo!!! I'm educated it's jz dat I'm not HIGHLY EDUCATED.. & WHO THE HELL ARE THEY TO JUDGE ME DAT WAY!!!
WTF!!
Aniwae dat did not spoil my mood to cam whore with my sis & my cousin.. hahaha
jUst sMile :)9:08 AM
Memories
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Today I'm in EMO mod..
Suddenly.. today.. I remembered wat happen to me in my past.. The sins dat I made.. Dat make me end up in the prison.. It might short sentence but its a lesson dat is very priceless..
Being a teenager in the past.. I dind't know wats life is.. My concentration is only money.. To be glamorous & repect by friends who is so metarealistic... I didn't even thought dat this friends would leave me in the end.. What I was thinking is they love me & will nv leave..
I totally forget dat I have a beloved father, sister & families.. The only thing is my mind is my "friends".. Until I was blinded.. & I breech the company's trust.. Dats when I was sentence to jail.. I remember how it felt when I was in the court waiting for the judge to gv me my sentence.. No "friends" were there.. Except my beloved father, sister & a bestfriend whom I called my sister..
I remember how my dad looked at me when I was in my stand.. Eyes full of dissappoinment.. I wanted so much to hug him & ask for forgiveness at dat time.. But I cant.. I jz cant..
Since then.. I told myself... no matter how hard life is... I will nv leave my families..
I will restart everything from the start even thought public critisied me..
I wanted to start a total new life.. W/o lies.. W/o glamorous.. Jz me, myself & I..
jUst sMile :)7:57 PM
Beautiful Sunday...
Sunday, November 22, 2009

Woke up at 7am dis morn... Too use to it..
My eyes jz automatically opened... Hahahaha
My heart feel so empty.. besides my fiancee doing his MIA as normal.. He even off his hp for the past few days.. No calls nor news from him.. When I called his house.. his mum sounded cold towards me.. Haiz.. I'm so numb abt him.. I don't even have any feelings towards him anymore..
& honestly I dn even know Y I'm still engaged to him..
Last 2 days... My sister, send me a song.. "FUNNY FACE" by backstreet boys,,, I think.. She said every time when she heard dat song..It reminds her of me & my fiancee.. Which is true.. The song did remind me of him too. Its abt.. "everytime u mad.. I jz make a funny face" Os did always make funny faces everytime I'm angry or even cry..
But sadly dat was 10mths ago...
Now... he didn't even bother.. Our relationship have been dis cold towards each other for abt... 5-6mths.. we did not talk abt us.. the only thing we talk is arguements.. & now... I declare myself as single.. As I am single for the past few mths.. No conversations.. No dates... No outing.. Nothing btw us except ARGUEMENTS & HATRED.
I'm so numb..
Deep in my heart......... I still have my ex, FIDI... I love him so much.. I remember how he treat me.. I'm always on his PIORITY LIST.. Hahaha.. But dat was the past.. Now we are just norm frens.. Even we are apart... to be honest.. I can't live w/o him.. A day w/o his msg or calls is driving me crazy.. & he didn't noe anything abt dat..
& every time I go crazy coz he is not arnd.. Every one thought dat I mz my fiancee.. But actually not.. Haiz.. I really can't live w/o him..
Its a very beautiful Sunday.. & later today... got to go to my mum's plc to celebrate her adv bday..
jUst sMile :)8:44 AM
Its "BEKAL" day!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I jz finish cooking BEKAL for my outlet & my sis.. Hahahaha... Now I'm not sure if the rice to cook would be enough... Hahahaha... God...
I accidently pour too much sugar!!! hahahaha...
I'm so scared dat the dish dosen't taste nice... shit............. I'm so scared lah..
jUst sMile :)10:30 PM
I'm so numb
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Haiz..
I didn't noe where to begin & how.. Today whole was spend at my fiancee house. I bring sis lappy along... with intention of playing it when my "beloved" fiancee goes to slp.. I had to cook as his mum is not around.. so gt to help out... making sure dat the guys in the house is not starving..
I was so pisst of with my "beloved" fiancee.. The moment I enter the house... he told me to go to his room... then... u noe... he & the "5min" thing happens.. see... when he wans me... he demands... then after dat.,.. he jz throw me aside..
Haiz... didn't noe... wat to do... I think basically all guys is the same.. there goes for my ex too..
he dissappear after we secretly when out on last sat nite.. now if I called him.. he sound frustrated....
At times I think... am i too cheap?? am I fun to play around with??
Today... after so long of not meeting my "beloved" fiancee... he told me this... I've put on weight.. I'm ugly... I'm too fat... I didn't noe how to take care of his heart... bla... bla... bla..
Then he say dis... If i'm not going to be slim again by dec... he will find another gal.. & I really dn noe wat to do... He keeps on repeating those words... untill I'm numb with it..
He even said dat he have another gal... from CBTL, FORUM... & I jz act deaf.. I told him to repeat but he said... nothing.. of all that I've done for him... he still hates me... my physical..
wat am i suppose to do now???
Coz everytime... I talk abt him... having another gal... NO ONE IN HIS FAMILY BELIVES ME... B'CZ everytime they asked him... he will say.. I'm jealous.. i'm not understanding..
I jz got fed up...
So now... i'm keeping everything in silent... it hurt me so much... but i have to keep it... coz i didnt wan to be blame for nothing.. I'm so numb now...
jz following the flow of my life.. where it will go & where it will ends...
In his family eyes... I'm the bad gal...
i take the blame... I am the bad gal...
jUst sMile :)7:53 PM
Confused.. Totally confused
Monday, November 9, 2009

Hi!! I'm Noor!
This is my 1st time writing a blog... so bear with me if there is anything wrong ok.. hahaha.
My life??? I'm restarting a total new life. Far away from the old life. But honestly I'm happy. Eventhough I'm earning much2 smaller then previously.
I'm just a simple gal with a very simple life now.. being with my lovely family.. lovely daddy of course. Haiz... the only prob I'm having is.... I'm enggaged to the most IRRESPONSIBLE, IDIOTIC & IRRITATING fiancee ever, Os!!
Y I said that??? B'coz... oklah I understand that he is struggling to collect the dowry money but then he is not giving me any attention at all!!! I'm so frustrated with dat.. Haiz... Further more... he acted so bz dat till now... Its already nearly a yr I dn even see him collecting a single cent.
The worst part was... having him asking me for money.. IDIOT rite??? Still I keep on giving him a chance to change. Till now... nothing happen..
Then... comes hero of my life... My ex.. Fidi.. We used to be together for abt... 4yrs plus.. We are so madly in love but then... somthing happens & he left. But still I know deep in his heart.. he still love me.. U noe how I noe???
so many incident... I will explain.. later tonite.. gtg.. I'm late for work.. hahaha...
Love ya,
Noor Hamilton..
jUst sMile :)7:43 AM