My Dearest Exes..
Yest, all of a sudden... every1 jz come back to me.. The last few days I was missing them like crazy.. especially Fidi..
Honestly I can't leave w/o Fidi.. he is a permanent tattoo in my heart dat can nv be removed. Last mth, I received a msg from him sying dat he is officially attached & he was hoping dat I understand his situation. I was breaking apart upon receiving dat sms. felt the whole world was falling.. It affected me so badly dat I was so down.. I cried as I really didn't expect him to say it.. Moving on w/o him is so hard.. I even rather be his slave as long as I can see him, talk to him or even watch him.. I jz didn't wan him to leave me..
As for Os, I mz being a "fiancee" to him.. I mz the fights dat we used to have.. The arguements. The "5min" thing.. Its jz so funny.. yet I'm doing very gd w/o him.. especially in my career..
As for my "Kung fu Panda", he is so innocent.. So sweet, chubby, big ex bf of mine.. noe he tried his very best to be on the same pace as me.. It jz didn't work.. I let him go coz I noe I will hurt him in the end.. & I couldn't affort to do dat to him..
I also have... a guy who came in my life b4 Fidi, Abg An... He is divorced now.. Single with 3 kids.. He is a very wonderful father. He is also my "teacher" in this love life.. Basically he met all my ex'es.. I love being cuddle by him most of the time...
so wat happen was... Yest morn, I met abg an.. we when out for b'fast. we catch up wif our lives dat we mizz out.. everything when so well.. I went to work in the evening.. arnd 8pm... received a kol from unknown num.. Its Os!!!Ask me out on sat.. Didn't know Y??...then .. I have visitor in my outlet.. Claire Sassoon.. My Big boss, daughter.. So I was kind of being hold for work.. Lucky daddy fetch me.. hahahaha.. Otw home, while in the car, received another sms from unknown num.. now.. its FIDI.. Suddenly It felt so hurt.. My heart jz wanted to cry.. I mz him so much.. But then.. i told him this..
"Ak, I've promised u this.. If u have a gf.. I won't disturb u anymore. She is a gal & I'm a gal too.. Its hurting to know dat our guy is still contacting his ex.. So I hope u understand. just msg me when u are free.. ok.. But I won't be disturbing u"
It hurts when I msg him dat.. But I know.. I have to move on eventhought its very tought.. Haiz... I mz him so much.. How I wish I could beg him to come back to me.. Yet I know he miss me too.. i know there is somthing dat he wanted to tell me.. i could feel him evnthought he is so far away frm me.. As his name is already Tattoo in my heart.
Then daddy asked me, who msg me late nite..I told him its Fidi.. I told him dat I even gt a call from my ex fiancee, os.. Daddy jz sigh.. & said
"Kakak, apa yg dah berakhir biarkan berakhir. Tak ada apa yg perlu di sambungkan lagi. Bekas tetap menjadi bekas tak akan blh di tukar menjadi kawan baik kerana kenangan yg ada itu akan membuat kakak tak blh teruskan idup baru. Kakak dah jadi Mgr.. Dah 26thn.. Bkn 16thn. Kakak kena lupakan org2 ni & cari yg baru.. Barulah kakak mampu btul2 buka buku baru.. "
Its true wat daddy said.. I need to really move on & leave the past behind me.. But how?? When Fidi's name is Tattoo on my heart.. It can't be erase..