2nd Shift Cert Preparations
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Tomorrow is my 2nd shift cert. At times I felt dat I wanted to gv up.. But dis is my dream & my daddy's dream to see me wearing the black uniform..
Honestly I miss Fidi so much.. But I need to control myself.. its hard to move on w/o him.. but I did move on..
"Ya Allah s.w.t, berikan lah aku kekuatan.. sesungguhnya ini adalah kehendak mu.. Aku percaya jodoh pertemuan adalah ketentuan mu.. Namun hakikatnya aku sngt merinduinya.. Aku tak mampu terus kan perjalanan hidup ini tanpa nya disisi ku.. Aku yakin smua ini adalah rahsia mu, aku juga yakin kau maha pengasih & kau tak akan uji kami lebih dari kemampuan kami"
Since my enggagement ended few mths ago.. I could feel somthing is not rite with my stepmum.. & I'm rite..
She told shikin dat, "do not be like me.. Abis manis sepah org buang"
Honestly, those words hurt me alot.. Suddenly I hated Hussien so much.. I've tried my very best to hold on.. I changed I did so many things for him. Yet he insist on ending it.. Now every1 is turning their back on me.. wat have I done wrong!!! Tell me???
I gv him money, I gv him attention. Support for him to work.. Watelse????
yet he wans to leave... my fault again??? I'm seriously breaking apart... & no1 knows or even understand how I feel deep in me..
I'm a normal gal also.. I wanted a honest relationship... I wanted attention, to be loved as wat i am.. Yet y??? Y he still leave me??? Firdaus leave me long time ago... thought Hussien is diff... yet at the end... He is the same!!!
I'm falling apart when I noe wat people is saying.. I laugh, I smile.. But my heart... I'm crying.. coz seriously... it HURTS!!!!
jUst sMile :)8:54 PM